Intimacy and intercourse are a part of the human experience but can feel vulnerable. With a little preparation and communication, though, it can still be a wonderful, fulfilling experience for partners.
Read on to learn how effective communication with your partner will help you in this case. I’ll also share some effective tips for intimacy with an ostomy.
Communication – The Key to a Great Sex Life With an Ostomy
Not everyone reacts positively when you tell them you have an ostomy, but that’s okay. You can use it as a way to weed out those who wouldn’t be supportive of you if you were in a relationship.
Here’s how effective communication with your partner can help.
1- Helping Your Potential Partner Understand Your Ostomy
You don’t have to rush to tell a potential partner about your ostomy, but if you feel comfortable doing so, go ahead! Your first priority should be to follow your gut instinct. When you’re ready to tell your potential partner about your ostomy, do it with confidence. Chances are, if you’re confident and positive about having an ostomy, they’ll be happy about it too.
2- Communication With Your Current Significant Other
If you were in a relationship before surgery, your partner likely knows how sick you were and will be grateful for the surgery. Still, make sure to talk about your feelings about the ostomy and how things will change after surgery. Remember that your partner is likely adjusting too.
You can ask questions like, “How do you feel about my ostomy?” as well as, “How has my ostomy affected our relationship?”
I once talked to a woman who was surprised when her husband said he loved her ostomy. He explained that it allows her to live more fully, and they can go out without worrying about finding a bathroom.
Tips for Intimacy with an Ostomy
Before getting intimate with your partner, it is important to take some precautions to make sure everything goes smoothly.
- Empty your pouch before intimate moments – First, empty your pouch to avoid any embarrassing accidents.
- You can use deodorizing drops or spray – You should also use deodorizing drops or spray to keep any odors at bay.
- Use an opaque pouch or a pouch cover – To really play it safe, you can use an opaque pouch or a pouch cover.
- Take medication – You can ask your doctor if you can take Imodium, Beano, GasX, or comparable products about 20-30 minutes before intercourse (if anticipated).
- Use products to conceal your ostomy – There are also a number of products on the market that are designed to conceal your ostomy during intimate moments. Check out a few to see which one works best.
Intimacy can still be enjoyable with an ostomy. Your relationship may become stronger since you have to talk about health and support each other. You can help by loving yourself and your body. The right person will also love and support you for who you are.